The Space Between Listening and Understanding

We spend a lot of time talking about diversity, yet the heart of it often gets lost. At the center of every conversation about inclusion is one simple truth. People want to be heard. Not corrected. Not reshaped. Heard.

My conversation with Bobby Small brought that into focus in a steady, grounded way. He talked about the moments that opened his eyes to bias in the workplace. I shared stories from my own life that shaped the way I see people. Both of us came back to the same idea. Listening is not a tool for persuasion. It is a tool for understanding.

When we listen only to respond, we miss the human being in front of us. When we listen to win, we lose trust. But when we listen to understand, even if our views do not change, we build a bridge long enough for someone else to stand on.

Curiosity helps us get there. Not curiosity that pokes and prods, but the kind that says, “I want to know you. Not the version of you I assumed.”

Every one of us shares more in common than we think. We are shaped by our families, our neighborhoods, our mentors, our teachers, our coworkers, our heartbreaks, and every moment that cracked us open. When we talk about diversity, we are talking about the stories behind those moments.

The real work begins in the quiet space between listening and understanding. That is where respect grows. That is where people feel safe enough to share the parts of themselves they usually keep tucked away. And that space is something we can all learn to hold a little better.

If you want to show up differently, start here. Listen to understand. Get curious about someone else’s world. Look for the places where your experiences overlap. That is where connection happens. And that is where community becomes real.