Balancing Your Ambitions

Balancing your life is about claiming the space to want both a bigger professional life and a richer personal one, without apologizing for either. Your ambition at work doesn’t have to dim when life gets louder, and your personal goals don’t need to wait in a side room while your career talks. We shouldn’t need to ask permission to lead, learn, reinvent, build platforms, raise families, book flights, or chase the long-shot ideas we care about. Both ambitions deserve room, and you don’t owe anyone a quieter version of wanting more out of your life.

Professional ambition can look like becoming the person people trust in your industry, saying yes to roles that stretch you, learning out loud, climbing ladders, and staying at the front of innovation. That is about more than titles. It’s about shaping conversations, showing up curious every damn week, and working on the things that help other people do their jobs better.

Personal ambition can look like building a family, buying a home, traveling farther than your zip code, trying a skill you’ve never tried, or doing the thing you always said you would when time felt slower. It might mean signing a mortgage, booking a trip, having a baby, or taking a leap toward something new without needing anyone else to explain the next step.

The tension begins between the 2 when you feel like one should speak quieter while the other speaks louder. The real lesson is learning they can exist in the same life, the same rooms, the same seasons, and sometimes even the same day.

This episode of Coffey Talk showcased someone who lives that truth in real time. Brittany Burke grew her career from an unexpected start in Accounts Receivable into MVP rooms, self-teaching technical language and translating it into solutions that worked for real humans behind real desks. She told the story of pushing her baby stroller across the expo floor at Community Summit while her kid pointed proudly at her name on the MVP wall. Her story reminded me that balance isn’t about halves, it’s about wholeness.

What struck me most wasn’t just what she built in her career, but how she built it: by asking the questions most of us are scared to ask, by bridging business and tech without ego, by leaning on community instead of faking polish, and by modeling success for her children in a way that felt normal, messy, and deeply real.

She talks about empowerment like it’s a ripple that doesn’t require approval, and she shows her kids that success doesn’t belong only in the office or only at home. Success lives in both when you don’t shrink one side of yourself to make the other fit into someone else’s expectations. 👏🏻

The real proof? She doesn’t split her ambitions. She invests in both. She shows them to her kids not to impress them, but to show them that building a big career doesn’t mean you build a small life.

Something to Sip On:
What would change if you let both sides of your ambition speak at volume this year?

Living Like Time Actually Matters

I’ve been thinking a lot about time. Not in the color-coded calendar way, but in the quiet moments where you feel your life moving and recognize you’re not getting any of it back.

Brad Prendergast and I talked about this in the latest episode, and it brought up something I’ve been sitting with for a while.

Most of my life, I lived in the “when I finally” mindset.
When I finally get through this season. 

When work slows down.
When I catch up.
Then I’ll rest. Then I’ll enjoy. Then life can begin.

But “finally” never shows up. Something else always fills the space. There is always another deadline, another goal, another thing to get done before we can breathe.

4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman “Whatever compelled your attention from moment to moment is simply what your life will have been.”

That line hit hard. It’s an audit moment to check in and ask, “Is this really what I want my life to add up to?” “Is this where I want my time to go?”

I don’t want the story of my days to be a blur of rushing and scrolling. I want to remember the people I showed up for. The conversations that moved me. The moments that actually felt like a life.

Reading that line made me pay attention differently. It made me put my phone down more. It made me take stock of who I’m giving my minutes to. If attention is the currency, I want to spend it well.

There’s another question this conversation surfaced. “When is it enough, and what is enough?”

Enough looks different for everyone, but for me, it’s pretty simple.
Enough is time with my people.

Enough is work that lets me contribute and still live.
Enough is curiosity, learning, and the chance to create memories that feel like mine.

And if those things don’t show up in how I’m spending my time, something’s off.

This episode isn’t about guilt or perfection. It’s about awareness.
It’s about noticing what you’ve been giving your life to.
It’s about taking inventory and asking yourself if your time lines up with what you say matters.

The Messy Middle of Leadership: Finding steadiness in the moments no one claps for.

There’s a part of leadership people don’t talk about enough.
It’s the part where you’re leading in the middle of something that already feels bruised. A tired team. A system that stopped working a long time ago. A space where momentum is low, trust is shaky, and the work ahead feels heavier than the title makes it look.

That middle place doesn’t get celebrated.
There’s no applause.
Most days, there’s not even clarity.

My conversation with Stephanie Clark brought all of that into focus. She talked about walking into broken teams with hope, only to be met with resistance. She talked about being labeled “loud” and “bossy,” even though she was the one holding things together. She talked about how lonely leadership feels before the results show up.

But the thing she kept coming back to was simple.
Listen first.
That’s where real leadership starts. Not with the big speeches. Not with the quick fixes. Not with the “I’ve got all the answers” posture that never holds up anyway.

Listening builds trust.
Listening softens tension.
Listening opens the door for people to meet you halfway.

Anyone who has ever rebuilt something knows this. Whether you lead a team, a project, a household, a community, or even yourself — the messy middle asks you to stay steady when everything in you wants to sprint to the finish.

And here’s the truth Stephanie reminded me of:
People need people. Full stop.

Support is not a luxury.
Encouragement is not optional.
We all need someone in our corner when things feel heavy. Someone who says “I see what you’re carrying” without needing a long explanation. Someone who notices your effort before the outcomes show up. Someone who reminds you that you’re not crazy for caring as much as you do.

The messy middle isn’t glamorous, but it’s where the real foundation gets rebuilt. And when it finally works, people forget how loud or quiet you were. They remember how steady you stayed.

The Space Between Listening and Understanding

We spend a lot of time talking about diversity, yet the heart of it often gets lost. At the center of every conversation about inclusion is one simple truth. People want to be heard. Not corrected. Not reshaped. Heard.

My conversation with Bobby Small brought that into focus in a steady, grounded way. He talked about the moments that opened his eyes to bias in the workplace. I shared stories from my own life that shaped the way I see people. Both of us came back to the same idea. Listening is not a tool for persuasion. It is a tool for understanding.

When we listen only to respond, we miss the human being in front of us. When we listen to win, we lose trust. But when we listen to understand, even if our views do not change, we build a bridge long enough for someone else to stand on.

Curiosity helps us get there. Not curiosity that pokes and prods, but the kind that says, “I want to know you. Not the version of you I assumed.”

Every one of us shares more in common than we think. We are shaped by our families, our neighborhoods, our mentors, our teachers, our coworkers, our heartbreaks, and every moment that cracked us open. When we talk about diversity, we are talking about the stories behind those moments.

The real work begins in the quiet space between listening and understanding. That is where respect grows. That is where people feel safe enough to share the parts of themselves they usually keep tucked away. And that space is something we can all learn to hold a little better.

If you want to show up differently, start here. Listen to understand. Get curious about someone else’s world. Look for the places where your experiences overlap. That is where connection happens. And that is where community becomes real.

Changing the Conversation About Wellness and Womanhood

When I started Coffey Talk, I wanted to create a space for stories that remind us we’re not alone. Not the polished, perfect stories but the ones that live in the quiet spaces of real life. The ones that make us nod and say, “Same.”

Talking with Melissa Maikos reminded me how powerful those conversations can be. She’s built her life around movement...as a former college athlete, a sports broadcaster, and now a fitness instructor. But what I love most about her story isn’t her strength; it’s her honesty. She’s using her voice to normalize conversations about body image, aging, and perimenopause — topics our mothers and grandmothers rarely said out loud.

Growing up, so many of these experiences were treated as off-limits. You didn’t talk about menopause. You didn’t admit to struggling with body image. You didn’t say you were exhausted or anxious or feeling “off.” You just pushed through.

But here’s the thing - silence doesn’t build strength. Connection does.

When we share the messy middle, we give other women permission to breathe. To see themselves in our stories. To know that what they’re feeling isn’t strange or shameful. It’s human.

That’s what Melissa is doing with her growing community of women navigating midlife. She’s taking humor and honesty, 2 things that shouldn’t have to compete, and turning them into a movement. She’s saying, “Let’s talk about it.” Let’s talk about hot flashes, mood swings, and the brain fog that makes you forget why you walked into a room. Let’s talk about how strength training at 49 feels different than it did at 29, but no less powerful.

We can laugh about it. We can cry about it. But we don’t have to hide it.

Changing the narrative doesn’t mean shouting louder. It means speaking truth with kindness. It’s inviting others into the conversation instead of pretending we’ve got it all figured out. It’s realizing that community is the cure for feeling isolated in our own lives.

That’s the story I want to keep telling not just through Coffey Talk, but in every space where women gather. Because when we start talking about what once felt off-limits, we stop feeling like we’re the only ones going through it.

So here’s to the conversations that start with honesty and end with hope.

Your Voice, Your Vote: Why Participation Matters

In Coffey Talk | Episode 10, Jessica Kraisinger shares her journey into voter advocacy and the reminder that one person’s action can create ripple effects across a community. Her perspective reframes voting from an obligation to an opportunity — a chance to hire the right people for your community.

She walks us through common myths about voting, the importance of local elections, and the power of simply making a plan. But perhaps the most powerful moment comes when she encourages us to celebrate the act of voting.

As she says, “There’s probably nothing else you’ll do that day that will be that impactful. Treat yourself a little bit because it’s an amazing thing you did.”

Voting isn’t just a duty; it’s a joyful act of empowerment.
So check your registration, make your plan, and show up. Democracy needs all of us ~ and it starts with you.

She Builds: How Women in Tech Are Shaping a New Kind of Community

It started with a question I couldn’t shake.

What would happen if women in our community had a space to tell their stories?

I’ve spent years listening to women across the Dynamics ecosystem talk about the paths they’ve taken, the pivots they’ve made, and the moments that changed everything. Over coffee, in hallways, and after sessions, I kept hearing stories that sounded different but felt the same. Stories of building careers, building confidence, and building each other up.

That’s where She Builds was born.

I wanted to create a space where women could share their stories in a raw and inspiring way. Not just to be heard, but to be seen — so that others could see themselves in those stories too. Because when we do, something shifts. We start to recognize the threads that connect us. We find camaraderie in shared challenges, collaboration in shared dreams, and community in the stories that remind us we’re not alone.

When Pam Misialek, VP of Community at Dynamic Communities, invited me to serve on the Women in Tech Committee for this year’s luncheon, everything clicked. She Builds became the title and the heartbeat of the event. Together with Pam and the DCI team, we shaped it into a celebration of women who are building their paths forward, not just reflecting on where they’ve been.

What I love most is that She Builds isn’t about one person’s success story. It’s about the collective. It’s about the woman who’s finding her voice, the one mentoring someone new, and the one still figuring out where she wants to go next. Every story matters, and every connection builds something lasting.

She Builds isn’t a moment. It’s a movement.

It’s about seeing ourselves in each other’s journeys and realizing that we are all, in our own way, building something meaningful.

“When women share their stories—successes, struggles, pivots, and all—it gives others permission to see what’s possible.” — Cam Sessinger

☕️ Reinventing Yourself: Becoming Who You Were Always Meant to Be

Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is release who you’ve been.

We spend years collecting versions of ourselves — the roles we’ve played, the titles we’ve earned, the expectations we’ve carried. Somewhere along the way, we start to believe that changing means losing something. But it doesn’t.

When I sat down with Marie Wiese, she reminded me that reinvention isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about honoring it, learning from it, and daring to build something new on top of it. It’s realizing that your past isn’t a weight — it’s a foundation.

Marie’s story is one of resilience and renewal. After more than three decades in tech, she found herself at a crossroads — navigating personal loss, shifting industry dynamics, and the quiet realization that she was ready to begin again. What struck me most wasn’t just her decision to start over, but the clarity she gained along the way. She said something that has echoed in my mind ever since:

“You have to give up who you were to become who you’re meant to be.”

That sentence alone could be the headline for every reinvention story.

Marie shared three takeaways that shaped her journey, and they’ve been sitting with me ever since.

Let Go of the Past

Marie’s first truth is one I think many of us struggle with. Letting go of the past doesn’t mean you’re dismissing it. It means you’re releasing its grip on your future.

We hold onto old titles, old stories, old proof that we were once capable. But growth asks for space. It requires a clean table to set something new. I’ve learned that sometimes the hardest part of moving forward isn’t fear of the unknown - it’s the comfort of what’s familiar.

Reinvention begins the moment you stop comparing your next chapter to the last one.

Seek New Voices

Her second lesson felt like a quiet challenge: ask advice from new people.

It’s so easy to stay surrounded by people who think like we do, who validate the same ideas, and who make us feel safe. But as Marie said, “Growth requires new voices.”

That line made me pause. Because the truth is, you can’t change your perspective if you only ever look through the same window. The people who stretch you - the ones who challenge your thinking - are often the ones who help you see what’s possible next.

Every new conversation carries a piece of your evolution.

Start New Conversations

Marie’s third takeaway is simple but powerful: start new conversations and meet new people.

For her, this wasn’t about networking or chasing opportunities. It was about connection. Listening. Letting curiosity lead.

I think that’s what reinvention really is. It’s not a grand pivot, but a series of small, brave moments where you choose to show up differently. Every conversation is a door, and every connection has the potential to change your direction.

When Women Hit Their Stride

One of the most beautiful parts of our conversation was about timing. The truth that many women often come into themselves later in life.

Marie talked about the demands that shape our early decades, caregiving, family, stability, the invisible labor of holding it all together. And she’s right. For many women, the space to explore, create, and redefine ourselves doesn’t fully open until the noise quiets.

That hit home for me. Because it’s a reminder that purpose doesn’t expire. Sometimes we need a few more seasons to grow into our power. Sometimes we need life to slow down before we can truly hear our own voice.

And when that moment comes….when we finally have the clarity, confidence, and courage to begin again, we realize we’re not starting over. We’re finally starting as who we really are.

“Reinvention isn’t the end of your story. It’s the next brave chapter.” -Marie Wiese